February 2010
January 2010
“I made guacamole for breakfast and thought of you. Then I used my French press...”
– my BFF.
Thank goodness for Google Voice's transcription,...
If I don't sleep, maybe the boa constrictor that...
Or, I should say “more squeezy” - the squeeze hasn’t actually stopped since it started, it’s just made much worse when I attempt to lay down.
Thus, 3:26 AM finds me in an extremely sleepy, can-barely-type-these-words standoff with the boa. (Being up this late is hardly unusual for me, but I’ve had so little sleep over several days now I’m about to go [further]...
Police: ‘Multiple fatals’ in Va. shooting - Crime... →
Really, what better way to recognize the inauguration of our fine Commonwealth’s brand new, NRA-teat sucking Governor, Mr. Bob Asswipe McDonnell?
Once again, my husband must leave town to care for...
Trying to see the next 1-3 weeks not as a time of loneliness and despair, but rather, as an fresh opportunity to turn the children against their father. And also snoop through his stuff. LOL jk, there’ll only be loneliness and despair.
Followers and unfollows
shoesonwrong:
I write most things with one or two people in mind and, honestly, am happy if they appreciate it. Sure, I love stars, hearts, and muppet paws.
HOLD UP. What is the social media platform that will give me muppet paws? MUPPET PAWS, I MUST HAVE THEM.
Also, Annie is awesome.
EDITED TO ADD: Annie is also great at capturing my funky formatting oopsies (now corrected).
“The hell you say!”
– my outburst while reading Anne Sexton’s poem Housewife, upon encountering her lines:
“A woman is her mother.
That’s the main thing.”
(“The hell you say” being an expression of protest I first picked up from my… mother. Sigh.)
There's struggling and being broke, and then...
glueslabs:
<snip*>
If you haven’t already, please donate to the relief effort in Haiti. I did. (I texted HAITI to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross. They just add it to your phone bill.)
I’m almost always broke lately, but I’m also a white boy in America. It could be so much goddamn worse. Giving the Red Cross ten bucks is the least I can do to try to help the Haitian people right now....
I just lost 15 minutes of my life to this...
‘Should I spell ‘sadface’ in this tweet, or just use an actual sadface?’ :(
“Hey, I’m going to call you every time I come up the car and turn signals...”
– Google Voice’s transcript of a message from my husband.
Can't sleep, so...
I dragged War and Peace (made it to page 208!!!) to the living room, taking special care to leave my phone in the bedroom so I wouldn’t be tempted to check Twitter or whatever.
Which is to say I instead ended up turning on the living room laptop, catching up with both Twitter and a tiny bit of Tumblr. Go, me! (Turning off the laptop after this, no really I swear, stop laughing at me,...
Me: You are watching a reality television show about... meat?
Husband: (*grins broadly, then hoots*) Barbecue, baby!
Me: I am in hell.
Made it to page 182 of War and Peace!
I hear it really starts to pick up around page 800, so that’s nice.
OH HAI, ZOLOFT.
Fast morphine treatment may prevent PTSD - Mental... →
Intriguing. Hopefully, these findings will soon be of practical use in the field (from natural disasters to conditions of war).
So last night, Tolstoy made a joke about the...
And I was all “Haha! Honey, listen to this!” and my husband was all “scowl!” but I couldn’t tell if that was because of the German language thing or the fact that I was interrupting his television show.
World's slowest reader* continues to plod forth...
Favorite part thus far: In which it’s revealed that a bunch of early 19th century drunks thought it would be an awesome idea to tie a policeman to a bear. CONTEMPORARY DRUNKS HAVE NOTHING ON THESE GUYS. * Seriously. I’m on page 52.
Dear translators of mid-19th century Russian...
I totally get the avoidance of superficial capitulations to whatever might presently be deemed “idiomatic” in English. That said, “He was wearing… trousers the color of cuisse de nymphe effrayée [‘thigh of frightened nymph’]” begs further explication. Call me incredibly uncultured, but I’m just not up on what color the thighs of frightened nymphs...
“Her pretty upper lip with its barely visible black mustache was too short for...”
– 8 pages into War and Peace, and I’m giggling at Tolstoy’s reference to a girlstache.
Observation
My entire bedroom - nay, my entire house - nay, my entire life smells like dog.
You're right, hounds.
You guys take the pillows. We’ll curl ourselves around your feet, occasionally trying to work our way back up the bed, jabbing you with our extremities and sticking our buttholes in your faces and trying to steal the covers and pillows until you send us, whimpering, back to the bottom of the bed, and so forth and so on for all our days. LOL jk gimme back my goddamn pillow.
Dear insurance carrier:
Do you seriously think it’s a smart move for you to stand between me and my psych meds?
Because, well, y’all are based in Kentucky, and that ain’t much of a drive from here, and I’m oh so very willing to visit you personally if need be.
(Okay so I’d probably just file a complaint with Kentucky’s state corporation commission, which I could likely do online or...
Also, if you were going to lecture me that jokes...
[due to this]… Please know that I have started community action projects to address domestic violence, led a workshop at a biannual conference of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence among other venues, put in a ton of volunteer hours at a domestic violence shelter, published articles on the topic, organized a Take Back The Night march (and participated in many more), and, oh...
“Help! I’m being domestically violenced.”
– my husband, responding to my smacking his hands, because he refused to stop cracking his knuckles, which he KNOWS drives me insane so really, he had it coming.
I would get out of these mom jeans and into some...
but I lack even that much ambition.