So, I finally started physical therapy.
Hardest thing thus far: Realizing the extent to which I had been using dissociation as a means to block out pain.
That is: I’m not actually in more pain than before I started (it might even be less), but I’m 3,000 times more aware of the pain (and 7,000 times more hyperbolic).
So it’s great, and it’s awful. ‘Great,’ at least, is gaining ground on ‘awful,’ but ‘awful’ has lots of backup, and it’s like ‘great’ and ‘awful’ are street fighting only the street is my central nervous system and I’ve taken the metaphor too far, haven’t I.
(Also, muscle relaxants - PRO: legal; CON: this post.)
