marinelli's miscellany

"Decapitated by the cherry picker on a utility truck when sticking head out of limo" (at the age of 83)

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:20:00 -0500

There’s a Facebook app called “Death’s Time” which allows users to randomly generate answer to the question, “When and how will you die?” It was one of the few apps Priyanka ran on her page, and when, two and a half months ago, it came up in her feed (complete with an image of the Grim Reaper), I felt bad for the kid, but I also laughed. That’d be, of course, an awfully gory way to go, but I knew the automated result had to make her smile - a prediction, however whimsical and ridiculous, that she’d live.

No one commented on or “liked” the item, I imagine out of discomfort. I mean, how do you joke around about a teenager confronting, in that very morbid way, her own mortality? (For my part, I refrained from any comment out of fear her mother would be furious with me; while I loved Priyanka’s family and they were always kind to us, there were significant cultural and other barriers to understanding one another even during much brighter days, and I did not want to risk offending them.)

When Priyanka learned, months back, that her brother was a bone marrow match, we were all so hopeful. But she could never get well enough to undergo the surgery.

Now I’ll think of her whenever I see a utility truck. Or a limousine.

She was such a fantastic kid.

Our daughter’s close friend, very dear to all our family,...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:22:59 -0500

Our daughter’s close friend, very dear to all our family, died this morning of leukemia. I can barely see to write these words. (Above: her hopeful message in her Facebook’s bio section; her last status update, on October 4, said simply “It’s been more than a year since my diagnosis.”)

Rest in peace, dear, beautiful, brilliant, kind Priyanka. You are already so missed.

"I don't want to make cough syrup! I want to be a philosopher or a poet!"

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:26:00 -0500

EDIT: The first version of this post misspelled “philosopher.” I know, right?

My girl, who is, in a great number of spheres, a total smarty-pants, is nonetheless skeptical about why she should be taking Chemistry (an honors course).

I go through all the stuff about how chemistry is all about the finest components of life, and how that’s all sorts of fascinating, and she’s all “yeah, yeah, I don’t give a fuck.” (Yeah, she really said that. We are still, I’m afraid, dealing with this.)

I’m not the best role model here, of course; I went to a shit high school (the Hawai’i public schools, particularly on the outer islands, is not known for its academic excellence, to say the least), and also, had all the same ambivalence about the subject (“how is this whatsoever applicable to me?”).

So I try to think of people we know who actually used chemistry in their daily lives. BIG BLANK. Then, “Oh wait! There’s Stephanie.”

Here, I might have chosen my words more carefully. Instead of something like “she works for a pharmaceutical company,” I said something like, “She… um… makes cough syrup, I think?”

“I don’t want to make cough syrup! I want to be a philosopher or a poet!” (To which I responded with a weary, “Oh, kid.”)

So, awesome, right? I try to give my girl some validation for the notion that she should hang in there with the chemistry, and then can’t think of a single person we know who uses chemistry every day, except in the bungled example of Stephanie. (Storing this phrase away for future reuse: “the bungled example of Stephanie.”)

So, internet friends, back me up. Which of youse actually use chemistry in your daily lives? (Specifically, in ways that rely upon your knowledge of chemistry as gained through schooling.) Serious replies encouraged.

Anyone???

Is this where I say BUELLER?

contents include fragmented multitudes

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:01:00 -0500

If it seems like I’m tweeting too hard, I am truly sorry - it’s just that I’m in the middle of falling apart.

Or repairing. I can never tell which it will be, when it starts.

Some variation of which I’ve probably said before.

(Maybe it’s all been said.)

Anyway, kindly “Excuse Our Mess” (e.g. erratic material, post frequency excess) while we conduct renovations/ seek medication adjustments/ hope husband can come home soon/ etc.

(“Our”/”we” because of fragmentation, multitudes, etc.)

Go read these reviews. Now.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:47:17 -0500

Go read these reviews. Now.:

These reviews caused me to wonder whether I was having a decades-delayed acid flashback.

wordishness:

Amazon customer reviews of a laptop desk that attaches to your car’s steering wheel.

I think my husband is going mad from stress, sleep deprivation and being separated from his family.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:37:43 -0500

He has posted an item on his Tumblr that (twice!) includes the phrase “my beloved Anus.”

And yes, he capitalized “anus.”

[link, if you really want to know]

"But, Mom! I’m already late for gym. I may as well walk in with a donut."

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:25:31 -0500

“But, Mom! I’m already late for gym. I may as well walk in with a donut.”

- the teenager, attempting to persuade me to stop at Dunkin Donuts, en route to school this morning.

I’m not sure this amount of cuteness is even legal.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 01:12:07 -0500

I’m not sure this amount of cuteness is even legal.

Yet another tedious 'note to self':

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:38:38 -0500

“Leaking anecdote” is not the same thing as writing.

Five Things Merlin Should Do in Seattle

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:30:37 -0500

“Entirely irrelevant to Merlin’s itinerary” memory-lane-type tangent, provoked because I had not encountered the name “Vivace” in some time: The one on Broadway (if still in same location) is where I had my first date with this person.

Perhaps I should have viewed it as a bad sign that she stole a bunch of their cleaning supplies from the bathroom. (And also referred to my friends as “potential future character witnesses.”)

(Can I please trade in my old Seattle for the Seattle of this moment, and hang out with you guys? Sniff.)

glueslabs:

Have the best damn coffee in Seattle: Vivace (No latte name req’d)

Record at least one new ep of That Phone Guy near an iconic Seattle landmark

Visit Metrix Create Space and make fun of the steampunks and/or utili-kilts. BONUS: Seattle Museum of The Mysteries is right next door.

Have his inner core of hatred buffed and polished by a kindly old man who lives under the stairs of my apartment building

Give a talk about Influx Zero or whatever (something smart)

[He asked, so I answered.]

Fun fact about reQall, the memory aid program

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:51:00 -0500

If you use the voice function to make a note that happens to contain profanity, the transcribed text that comes back will contain not the actual profanities, but the following text: [Profanity].

Which in my case is problematic, since I was trying to recall a specific piece of dialogue I wanted to use later in a story, and the particular profanities I’d recorded were relevant.

Ah well, big fucking deal, right?

[Related.]

~!@#$%^&*()!!!

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:55:29 -0500

Me, to myself, out loud: You know, this is seriously dysfunctional behavior.
Me, in reply to above, also out loud: Oh fuck off.

Crying now. Also laughing. But, mostly crying. I miss my honey...

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:29:12 -0500

Crying now. Also laughing. But, mostly crying. I miss my honey bunny.

thunderdolt:

I want you all to know: I miss my wife so much I’m eating an avocado omelet. Avocados are not my favorite food, they’re hers. That whole adage, you are what you eat? Well, if I can’t eat who, er, what I want, avocado surrogate! Amirite?!

Etiquette question

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:25:11 -0500

How long after your teenage daughter’s Facebook page announces “In a relationship with [hapless boy’s name here]” should a mom wait before friending said boy? I mean, it’d be rude/standoffish if I didn’t, right?

That’s okay Google, seeing as I have absolutely no...

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 07:53:24 -0500

That’s okay Google, seeing as I have absolutely no recollection as to what experiment(s) I may have signed up for, and all I was attempting to do just now was conduct an innocuous search.

"At least she’s not licking mailboxes yet."

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 23:29:31 -0500

“At least she’s not licking mailboxes yet.”

- from a discussion of our youngest child’s increasingly curious, sometimes David Sedaris-like compulsions.

…And on the opposite end of the...

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 21:01:36 -0500

…And on the opposite end of the catching-up-with-Dad-cuddles spectrum, our goofball 9 year old.

Since he couldn’t come home, we drove to Williamsburg for...

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 20:26:41 -0500

Since he couldn’t come home, we drove to Williamsburg for an unacceptably brief visit. Here, the teenager gets some cuddle-with-Dad time.

Conversation with the 9 year old

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 16:29:36 -0500

Annalisa: Man, there are a LOT of really difficult things that a woman has to go through.
Me: What things were you thinking of?
Annalisa (in slow, deliberate voice, as if I had no clue about these matters): Like, putting in tampons? And giving birth?

Somehow, he found my “Lesbian Rights” sign, then...

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 14:35:00 -0500

Somehow, he found my “Lesbian Rights” sign, then dragged it to his special spot on my office floor (on top of a jacket that fell there, and which, now, I don’t have the heart to move).

EDITED TO ADD: I swear I did not stage this admittedly ridiculous confluence of “beagle” and “lesbian” themes, which had already been (individually) well-established in my Tumblr posts to date.