1. 11 Jan



    So, I finally started physical therapy.

    Hardest thing thus far: Realizing the extent to which I had been using dissociation as a means to block out pain. 

    That is: I’m not actually in more pain than before I started (it might even be less), but I’m 3,000 times more aware of the pain (and 7,000 times more hyperbolic).

    So it’s great, and it’s awful. ‘Great,’ at least, is gaining ground on ‘awful,’ but ‘awful’ has lots of backup, and it’s like ‘great’ and ‘awful’ are street fighting only the street is my central nervous system and I’ve taken the metaphor too far, haven’t I.

    (Also, muscle relaxants - PRO: legal; CON: this post.)

     

  2. 19 Nov


    For the vividness of all I remember from these streets, you’d think I could remember more of their names*, but no. The panic’s still there, closing my throat, and somehow, I desperately want to both remember and forget every detail at once.  *Maybe, is this Nicollet? (This is a guess, only. God, I feel disoriented. Like 1993-97 happened to someone else.) wr3n: First snow of the season The skyway is a warm place to observe winter from. =)

    For the vividness of all I remember from these streets, you’d think I could remember more of their names*, but no. The panic’s still there, closing my throat, and somehow, I desperately want to both remember and forget every detail at once. 

    *Maybe, is this Nicollet? (This is a guess, only. God, I feel disoriented. Like 1993-97 happened to someone else.)

    wr3n:

    First snow of the season

    The skyway is a warm place to observe winter from. =)

    (via stuffaboutminneapolis)